Purposeful Parenting (SohamJi - May 2025)

Discourse on "Purposeful Parenting" - May 25th, 2025

Summary of the session:

We find that parents learn more than kids during the Bala Vihar experience

"Take BV home" - Pujya Gurudev Swami Chinmayananda used to insist on this.

Only 1 hr per week of Bala Vihar is not enough. Here are some methods using which Parents can "take Bala Vihar home"

1. Have spiritual discussions with kids at home, especially after the Sunday classes.

2. Every home should have an altar where children see their parents pray: Parents should show them how it is done. Once the children see the parents' faith in Bhagwaan & Prayer, they will follow as well.

3. Have a routine once a week as a family - rituals, chanting, japa, satsang. Share stories which will increase our devotion to God. The book recommended by Pujya Gurudev is "Gospels of Sri Ramakrishna". Parents should be creative while conveying these concepts. 

4. Our actions matter more than our words - Parents should always remember this.

Another very important aspect to remember is: "How are we perceived? How do we come across?"

The Pancha-Vakara gives us some great concepts. This is also applicable for public speakers, leaders, managers, etc.

Vastrena vapushaa vachaa vidyayaa vinayenacha

vakara panchabhirviprO pUjitO naatra samsayah  ||

1. Vastra (Attire)

2. Vapusha (Body Language)

3. Vaacha (Speech): If our words are wrong, it means that our mind also has bad thoughts 

4. Vidya: Understanding of & Devotion to God

5. Vinaya (Humility): We should be extremely humble & open-minded. This is one sure way to be approachable.

Q&A

*How to get rid of I & Mine and the bad effects of it

I and mine - Destroy it or totally expand it. Be in the Brahman level and totally destroy this concept of I & Mine. The other option is to expand it completely. Feel that everyone is mine and be limitlessly compassionate.

*How to not be partial to our kids

Take our role as Bala Vihar teachers or elders, seriously. This is where spiritual studies help us. Spiritual studies will help us with Viveka - to discern two things that are mixed up. We will begin to see & understand our own faults.

*Children are sensitive to feedback. How to give feedback.

For giving advice, we should develop Pramaana Buddhi in the child. This means that this person is a valid source of knowledge. The kids should trust us. Then the child will totally trust and listen to us. Children will often quote a teacher or a doctor or a social media influencer about something which we have been saying our whole life. It is because they have accepted that this person is an authoritative source of truth.

Also, striving to change ourselves is a big sadhana. We should also adapt in how we give feedback, etc. and be open minded.