Saranya Saripalli - Human Relations through the Ramayana

Project by: Saranya Saripalli

Mentor: Sri Harish Tallapragada

We have all been fortunate enough to have had the chance to learn about the Ramayana at

some point in our lifetime. Similarly, I was introduced to the Ramayana as my mother sang the Nāma Rāmāyaṇa as a lullaby when I was a baby. As I grew up, many events, characters, scenes, and situations in the Ramayana felt very close to our real life, and when I additionally observed how Rama upheld righteousness in various circumstances, I realized how the Ramayana reveals many life lessons to us, depending on the perspectives we choose to explore.

In those topics, I chose the Ramayana in the lens of Human Relationships. In modern times, relationships between people have become extremely delicate and distant. Through understanding and learning the Ramayana in the context of human relationships, we can become better in sustaining and building connections, which is the primary reason for my selection of this topic. In general, the relationships that we encounter are initially parents, then brothers or sisters, teacher and student, friends, wife and husband, mother-in-law and father-in-law, and many more. That said, I took into account my age, limits, and experience, and I selected some of the above relationships to research. They are: parents, siblings, friends, and teachers and students.

Throughout this epic, Rama shows deep respect towards his mother, Koushalya, and his

father, Dasharatha. When Rama is summoned to leave Ayodhya for fourteen years, Koushalya

is initially very upset about the situation that her son has to bear. However, soon after, she tells Rama a very important life lesson: “Rama! Practicing dharma when you are in the kingdom with benefits and pleasures and in a favorable environment is ordinary. Tomorrow, when you are in the forest, there will not be comfortable environments or any pleasures at all, but practicing dharma despite those situations is truly great.” As we know, Rama uses his mother’s words of advice and implements them throughout the epic. Another instance with Dashartha proves Rama’s respect as well. On one occasion, Dasharatha summons Rama to inform him that his coronation would be the following day. However, shortly after, Dashartha summons Rama once again to tell him that he will have to live fourteen years in the forest. Both times, Rama is extremely respectful towards his father, and he does not question Dasharatha’s decisions. Rama is neither overjoyed when presented with the news about his coronation nor dejected when he was told to leave for the forest.

I can connect these instances to my own life through the life lesson that Koushalya had

taught Rama. I am now in high school where I live with my parents and am accessible to

everything at the time that I want. In this situation, upholding my principles and values is not a great accomplishment. However, sustaining my values when I go to college in the future – where my parents are not with me and I will be faced with a new environment – is a great achievement and responsibility. This is not going to be an easy feat, but I am going to rely on Rama and the Ramayana for strength and courage to fulfill these responsibilities. Furthermore, in everyone’s life, their parents are their first relationship, and I believe that they will always think for the best for their children. Hence, following the principles that my parents instill in me is how I can return true respect to them.

In the Ramayana, the theme of brotherhood can be seen through three different groups:

the human brothers – Rama, Lakshmana, Bharatha, and Shatrughna; the monkey brothers – Vali and Sugriva; and the demon brothers – Ravana, Kumbhakarna, and Vibhishana. Rama always follows dharma and tells the truth, Lakshmana adheres to Rama, Bharata sacrifices his throne due to his devotion towards his elder brother, and Shatrughna follows Bharata’s footsteps. These brothers all follow Rama, the eldest brother, who practices dharma at all times which is the primary reason for the mutual happiness among the siblings. On the other hand, the adharmic character, Vali seizes the kingdom and wife of his younger brother Sugriva irrationally, making him the cause of the pain that Sugriva has to endure. In the end, Vali ends up dying in a war between the two brothers. In another set of brothers, Ravana ignores the good advice that his brother, Vibhishana, tells him about his wrongdoing in abducting Sita, which eventually causes his brother, son, army, and finally himself to be killed. Looking at these three examples, we can understand the relationship that we should strive to build: Rama and his brothers. We can further see Rama’s deep affection for his brothers in a sloka that he says in the Yuddhakāṇḍa of the Ramayana when Lakshmana faints.

Dēsē dēsē kalatrāṇi dēsē dēsē ca bāndhavāḥ

Tantu dēsam na pasyāmi yatra bhrātā sahōdaraḥ

Through this sloka, Rama is trying to express that wherever we go, we are able to find children, relatives, and even a wife, but, in this life, we can never find siblings from the same mother. Therefore, we should be respectful and loving with the siblings that we are only fortunate to have in this life so that we can live in happiness with them. As this is a very special bond, we should learn to cherish it. Personally, I am my parents’ only child, so even though I cannot directly connect to this relationship, I can implicitly connect by treating any of my older cousins or acquaintances with respect and helping and guiding any of my younger cousins. Additionally, when I am in a group or leading a team, I can learn from how Rama led his brothers in the correct path and become a role model for my team.

Along with familial bonds, the Ramayana also emphasizes the value of true friendship.

In the Yuddhakāṇḍa of the Ramayana, Vibhishana comes to Rama to ask for mercy

before the war. When this happens, Sugriva, Angada, Jambavan, and many other friends of Rama tell him that they should not accept Vibhishana due to him being the brother of Ravana, their enemy. Rama responds with the following:

mitra bhāvena samprāptam na tyajeyam kathaṃcana

doṣo yadi api tasya syāt satāmeta dagarhitam

Through this sloka, Rama is trying to express that he will always befriend people that either ask for his friendship or ask for his mercy. When making friends, Rama says, we should not look at a person’s characteristics and traits, but rather we should see everyone equally. Specifically, we should not see differences in social status, wealth, race, or strength, instead we should only be particular in finding friends who are dharmic.

Throughout his journey in rescuing Sita, Rama encounters many kinds of beings – from

humans to monkeys– all of which he befriended. During the first days of his exile, he meets a

man named Guha, who is a tribal man living in the woods. Even though Rama is a king and

comes from a more elite class, he still becomes friends with the poor man named Guha due to the immense love and affection he shows towards Rama. He even refers to him as ātmasamōsakha, or one who is so close to my heart. Subsequently, he meets Jatayu, who tries to save Sita from Ravana. Although Jatayu is a bird, Rama befriends him because he was a friend of Dasharatha.

Rama shows great respect towards him, and he even performs his last rites. Soon after, in the

search for Sita, Rama meets Sabari, an old woman waiting for Rama's arrival. Once Rama comes to her house, she welcomes him with respect and gives him fruit to eat. Although she is a woman and especially a tribal, Rama still befriends her because of her pure intention and love for him.

Next, Rama becomes friends with Sugriva, a monkey, in an effort to help Sugriva earn his

kingdom back. This relationship between them is of a wholesome manner and is of pure intent. Finally, even when Vibhishana, who is the demon brother of Rama’s enemy, Ravana, seeks the abode of Rama, Rama befriends him because he asked for mercy. Instead of taking him as a subject and feeling superior to him, Rama decides that he is an equal friend, and he even makes him the king of Lanka.

However, we can also see the disasters caused by bad friendships throughout the course

of this story. For example, Kaikeyi loses her ethical judgement and listens to Mandhara’s

deceptive and envious words, which leads to the extreme misery that the family has to face.

Likewise, another unhealthy relationship is one between Maricha and Ravana, where Ravana

coerces Maricha to turn into a golden deer in an effort to abduct Sita.

Looking at the positive instances above, we can see Rama’s compassion, as he does not

select friends based on their traits or attributes, but moreover sees everyone that is in the dharmic path as his friends. Additionally, from the bad examples, I can learn not to conform to society in all situations and also learn how to deny bad offerings or requests. From my perspective, I can take this as a lesson for when I go to college, to prevent me from instantly listening to what my peers say and thinking about the consequences of my decisions before I take action. Additionally, from the instances above, I learned to be friendly to everyone, which in turn helped me gain lots of friends in my school, community, and Chinmaya Mission’s Balavihar.

Another relationship that we all encounter at some point in our life is that of a teacher

and student, or guru shishya. Over the course of the Ramayana, Rama interacts with many

teachers, some of them being Vashista, Vishwamitra, Bharadwaja, Agasthya, and many more.

Rama is extremely respectful towards all of his gurus, and he completely trusts and honors every word that they say. For example, in the middle of the war, when Rama was exhausted, Sage Agasthya comes to help Rama by teaching him the Āditya Hṛdaya. This stotram made Rama feel rejuvenated, leading to victory in the war. Through this example, I can learn to be

wholeheartedly loyal to my teachers, as they always want the best for their students, and they want them to develop towards success. I can learn to respect and trust my teachers, whether that be in school or Balavihar, because believing their words will ultimately help the student immensely.

Although solely the above advice can be taken to form a good relationship, the main

factor that decides the outcome of a relationship is communication. The words that one decides to speak heavily determine the emotions of the other person, which in turn affects the relationship between the two individuals. In the Ramayana, the epitome for good

communication, or vāk vaibhavam, is Swami Hanuman due to his proficient understanding on where, when, how, what, and with whom to speak. Just as we cannot imagine a relationship without adequate communication, we cannot imagine the Ramayana without Hanuman. This is why Hanuman is said to be:

Rāmāyaṇa mahā mālā ratnaṁ vande anilātmajaṁ

In other words, Hanuman is the diamond, or locket, that connects the garland of the Ramayana. Specifically, when Hanuman goes to Lanka, he notifies Sita that Rama would be coming shortly to save her. Similarly, Hanuman assures Rama of Sita’s presence in Lanka, which calms Rama.

Therefore, in my own life, I aim to carefully think about my words in order to build relationships and maintain them. This is because the result of effective communication can clearly be seen across the epic through various circumstances

However, I do not aim to stop my research at this point. From the information and life

lessons above, I aim to take the Ramayana, and especially Rama, as my role model in every stage of my life. As I grow older, I will experience many more relationships, all of which I will try to research in the Ramayana. By doing so, I can learn the correct way to build these connections from the role model Rama himself. Additionally, it is important to note that almost all answers to the many problems and needs that humankind faces can be found just by reading or engaging with the Ramayana. From this fact, we can realize the great assistance that this wonderful scripture gives us.

Ayana means movement. Ramayana means Rama’s movement. Learning from Rama’s

behavior and manner of speech can help us form healthy relationships, not just now, but for the rest of our lives. Throughout the journey of my research, I was able to learn a lot about certain relationships such as parents and friends, and implement it in my daily life. Similarly, all modern people can gain valuable advice on how to maintain a good relationship just by reading this wonderful ancient scripture.

Jai Sri Ram!

Link to Final Presentation File